the youtube meditation voice
says
unclasp your hands
i do as the video says
and feel the skin of my palms
alone
because everything else is logos
and monetary moments
as in
what are you learning
what are you producing
are you productive
are you prolific
are you coming or
are you going
down
get up
get over
the shoulder is for breakdowns
tears in the lane i don’t know what to do with
while everything else is night
already but
still afraid of sunsetting myself
before noon
climate change will mean moving up north
where the days will be so short
and our basements will be flood zones
rich with toxic silt
we could grow mushrooms by accident
strips of paper
for fortunes
in shinto shrines
are called omikuji
i am missing some nuance
when i make my little
tick boxes
for the things
day after day that
transfer from one list to the next
a calendar on carbon paper
a fortune told
and sometimes met
tie everything on so you can see it
there is the cotton string burrowing
winter thoughts are the cache
of summer
why are you still digging
what are you preserving
in this late winter
veering into early spring
you are almost thirty and a half
and halfway dead
and halfway employed
and halfway serious
and halfway honest
and halfway home
do you turn around
or do you keep going
the dumb blonde joke
says turn around
but did she know she was almost there